Jupiter Ascending - Nostalgia Critic

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  • Published: 28 June 2015
  • You know Wachowskis…COME ON! The Nostalgia Critic reviews 2015's sci-fi bomb, Jupiter Ascending.

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  • Entertainment Entertainment

Comments • 5 058

  • MisterMcDaunting
    MisterMcDaunting  50 minutes back

    Wait... her name is Jupiter Jones? Like the first detective of the "Three Investigators" youth books?! The hell?!?! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Three_Investigators

    • Threadnaught
      Threadnaught  5 hours back

      A Feminist tale about a woman who does nothing meaningful, gets kidnapped constantly and orders a bunch of men to kill and get killed by other men for her benefit.
      Real powerful character there.

      • Dade Lee Murphy
        Dade Lee Murphy  23 hours back

        Hate to be the one that pisses everyone off here, but lots of REAL women would say/point out a transgender woman still isn't a woman.
        They'd specify that they (transgebders) don't have the life experience from being born female and the years of physical, emotional, mental and psychological development or interaction that a woman would have.
        So, no Larry/Lana wouldn't know how to write a movie about a woman from a woman's perspective.
        that doesn't mean Larry/Lana can't try writing a good movie regardless of gender/identity.

        • The shark that won't stop

          Oof

          • chuckster houck
            chuckster houck  2 days back

            Awesome...Once they finally can change one DNA sequence to make any gender...The natural selection of mother nature should kick in and wipe us out..hooray!!

            • Daniel Codd
              Daniel Codd  3 days back

              A couple of years later.....this was actually the first time I found out one of the Wachowskis transitioned.

              That's how off the radar they were to me after the Matrix.

              • Natumon Creator
                Natumon Creator  5 days back

                This was so bad i tried to drown my phone.....then i realized my phone was waterproof

                • Nod Boss
                  Nod Boss  1 weeks back

                  What if here dad's name was Indiana Jones and the money was from one of his adventures??????

                  • MrVercettti89
                    MrVercettti89  1 weeks back

                    hes a bit harsh on this Film, it was an amazing Film

                    • Sergio Melendez
                      Sergio Melendez  2 weeks back

                      "I CREATE LIFE!!!" Will go down as one of my favourite bad movie quotes.

                      • Dat Meme
                        Dat Meme  2 weeks back

                        Finally watched this. Infuriating directing. Characters wait without reacting over and over again inexplicably to allow some new peril to develop. And how many times can you do the "villain thinks he got rid of the hero then the damsel in distress is about to get taken advantage of then the hero races against time to save her" in one movie. Cheap tricks like that don't make real drama, tension and release. Disappointing when you think they paid people tens of millions to write and produce this and that's the best they could do.

                        • Pirate Style Jutsu
                          Pirate Style Jutsu  2 weeks back

                          “Is there ANY part of you that wants to bite me?”
                          “My penis wants to bite you.”

                          • Ccd Gamer Girl
                            Ccd Gamer Girl  2 weeks back

                            when i saw this review i was like i've heard of this somewhere, then i remembered it was the shitty movie i was forced to watch at a sleepover i was forced to go to. ironic that it was so bad i actually remembered it and i have a terrible memory. lol

                            • The King of Stanule
                              The King of Stanule  2 weeks back

                              Please don't bring up rotten political subjects like "transgender", Theory. Such suicidal crazy topics are going to split your audience. And split it has... I'm leaving. Now that I'm no longer a subscriber I'll just be brutally honest: For a person who judges actors on their performance yours reminds me of my creepy paligimist-like grandmother who I'd rather have nothing to do with.

                              • Bryce Castle
                                Bryce Castle  3 weeks back

                                The whole video was absolute comedy but the best part was when they cut to that sideways clip. Paul Giamatti yelling fuck was just absolutely perfect in that moment 😂

                                • 2muchwhit1
                                  2muchwhit1  3 weeks back

                                  I... I like phantom menace
                                  And matrix 1-3
                                  And cloud atlas
                                  And superman returns

                                  • c c
                                    c c  4 weeks back

                                    Dude she put the sticky side of the pad onto the injury. That side is meant to ensure that the blood doesn't leak out of the bottom. She stuck it upside down. Unbelievable.

                                    • gebirgsjager1367
                                      gebirgsjager1367  4 weeks back

                                      You missed one, they ripped off "The Verse" from Firefly.

                                      • Garibaldi Britann
                                        Garibaldi Britann  4 weeks back

                                        Boy Lana Wachowski is transgender (i'm not kidding). You can see her by looking the red and blue pill on The Matrix, that symbolise her

                                        • Kratosdescendant gaming channel

                                          15:51-15:54 Now there's a movie.

                                          • Swift Nimblefoot
                                            Swift Nimblefoot  4 weeks back

                                            Eh, other times you are complaining that Hollywood has no original ideas, just comic adaptations and remakes. And then a new idea comes along and you hate that too?

                                            I love this movie, it is original and entertaining, and like Dune or Avatar, created a world I would love to see explored more.

                                            • Bob McGuffin
                                              Bob McGuffin  1 months back

                                              1:50 I understand all the other complaints but since when is the fact that Spaceships have been done before bad? Is only one movie ever allowed to include spaceships? Do all other space operas have to exclusively feature teleporters to get around?

                                              • everythingworthit
                                                everythingworthit  1 months back

                                                Fun fact; terrible movies (even this one) are enjoyable to watch if you actively make fun of the movie at the bad parts, and enjoy the actually enjoyable action sequences. I personally have gotten so good at this I can enjoy any movie. Like Batman and Robin, Meet the Robinson's, and even video game movies. (I'll even defend a few video game movies.)

                                                • everythingworthit
                                                  everythingworthit  1 months back

                                                  That intro was enough of a review.

                                                  • Julia Lilienstein
                                                    Julia Lilienstein  1 months back

                                                    To be fair, in Cloud Atlas, it was supposed to represent the evolution of the English language and what it would sound like centuries into the future. Am I the only one who loved Cloud Atlas?

                                                    • Brent Langford
                                                      Brent Langford  1 months back

                                                      I still want to know how the heck it’s possible to have a perfectly replicated DNA sequence naturally when that’s never happened or been shown to be possible in any way

                                                      • Brent Langford
                                                        Brent Langford  1 months back

                                                        You know, there’s some good stuff in this movie, but it’s all the extra stuff that is unnecessary that drags it down. Get rid of all the exposition and just reshoot the last villains lines with more powerful vocals and the rest of the movie can work

                                                        • ShroudedWolf51
                                                          ShroudedWolf51  1 months back

                                                          I know they're characters and it's supposed to be a running joke, but it's always unpleasant whenever NC treats Chester like shit.

                                                          • William Beal
                                                            William Beal  2 months back

                                                            IIIII CreAte LiFFFFFe

                                                            • JoelJames2
                                                              JoelJames2  2 months back

                                                              2:28 Missed an opportunity for the meme-worthy laugh

                                                              • dolphincrescent54
                                                                dolphincrescent54  2 months back

                                                                Baylem at breakfast time: LegGO my EgGO!,

                                                                • Gercho-San Andrade
                                                                  Gercho-San Andrade  2 months back

                                                                  So if it was the wachowskis... The it actually was a pair of pretentious assholes who could do something better with their time, not a bunch.

                                                                  • Plasma-gamer 280
                                                                    Plasma-gamer 280  2 months back

                                                                    But I like school and I hate this so

                                                                    • Arther Snow
                                                                      Arther Snow  2 months back

                                                                      Wares the video of his ware the critic has gone and then reruns ?

                                                                      • Picasso CT
                                                                        Picasso CT  2 months back

                                                                        Recycling plot is good for the environment

                                                                        • Stephan Ginther
                                                                          Stephan Ginther  2 months back

                                                                          Even with its flaws I enjoyed that movie.

                                                                          • Imaad Shahrukh
                                                                            Imaad Shahrukh  2 months back

                                                                            The poster seems to rip-off one panel from the Valerian and Laureline comics by Pierre Christin.

                                                                            • Hessed3712
                                                                              Hessed3712  2 months back

                                                                              Sailor!!! Jupiter!!!🤩🤩🤩🤪🥳🥳🥳🥳

                                                                              • LeAnn Kennett
                                                                                LeAnn Kennett  2 months back

                                                                                Actually the reason Frank Langella played skeletor is because his son loved He-Man and begged him to do it. (And he actually admits he had a lot of fun playing skeletor) same reason Raul Julia played M Bison in street fighter as his final role before his death. (Mind you he practically carried that film as the best actor and he was practically on his deathbed fighting cancer)

                                                                                Dolf Lundren has the opposite feelings about being in the film, he hates it and wishes he’d never done it.

                                                                                • Stellar Aevum
                                                                                  Stellar Aevum  2 months back

                                                                                  As a centrist, the far left commentary in this review is very cringe.

                                                                                  • cubbleshasreturned
                                                                                    cubbleshasreturned  2 months back

                                                                                    Okay I've seen numerous hilarious commentaries on Jupiter ascending and even saw the movie but I still don't get what the hell everyone is talking about. I had that to rewind that Sean bean and Mila Kunis Q&A numerous times and I still don't get what the hell they're even talking about

                                                                                    • Chuckwagon king
                                                                                      Chuckwagon king  2 months back

                                                                                      what's cloud atlas

                                                                                      • ArcFlash 64
                                                                                        ArcFlash 64  2 months back

                                                                                        The Matrix and V are the only good films these guys made. Everything else is a joke.

                                                                                        • TRITON K175
                                                                                          TRITON K175  2 months back

                                                                                          They didn't direct V For Vendetta, just wrote and produced it.

                                                                                      • Links Loki
                                                                                        Links Loki  2 months back

                                                                                        You didn't use Saylor moon Jupiter's voice actress more? Why? This was the most interesting point in the review!

                                                                                        • Phabian D kesson
                                                                                          Phabian D kesson  2 months back

                                                                                          Please stop with the fuckery witchowski

                                                                                          • DeepEye1994
                                                                                            DeepEye1994  2 months back

                                                                                            22:08 They could've said that this scene ripped off the 1980 "Flash Gordon" movie, that one ended with Flash crashing into the palace with a spaceship interrupting the forced marriage between Dale and Ming and Ming gets fucking impaled by the rocket.

                                                                                            • Elver Camargo
                                                                                              Elver Camargo  2 months back

                                                                                              They rip-off Signs and...Wicker Man(2006)?...WTF

                                                                                              • Smitty Werbenjaegermanjensen

                                                                                                Are we forgetting that Jupiter is the name of a Roman god? So it's a dude's name.

                                                                                                • Imaad Shahrukh
                                                                                                  Imaad Shahrukh  2 months back

                                                                                                  There is also a Roman goddess named Artemis while Artemis Fowl is a guy.